Fresh off the heels of San Diego’s Comic Con, which had tons of zombie content this year, let’s reconnect with getting ready for the impending zombie apocalypse. First, let me say that the San Diego Comic Con just has to be the world’s premier sci-fi and comics convention. It’s just much more than a simple fan-driven comic convention. So if you have never been, put it on your bucket list for places to definitely go before the end of days, before the fecal matter impacts the rotating aerial oscillator, before the global pandemic zombie apocalypse, make sure you go. I’ve been to the SDCC at least twice now and I can’t wait to go again.
Walking Dead spoiler alerts—I’ve got lots of spoilers this week. Why? Because in a real zombie apocalypse, information is your best weapon. After all, surviving the zombie apocalypse is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.
First, a disclaimer. Millions of fans love AMC’s The Walking Dead. It is by far the best zombie outbreak entertainment out there in the history of zombiedom. Only Resident Evil, Zombieland, World War Z, The Crazies, Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombies, Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later, the recent Maggie movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, and oh yeah, let’s not forget, Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video, even come close to The Walking Dead series. The Walking Dead is unequivocally phenomenal.
I do wish the writers would give me a small modicum of credit for some of the things they pull from my previous writings. For one, the idea that during a global pandemic zombie outbreak and zombie apocalypse we should all prepare to fight the dead and still fear the living, I first said that! Back in the mid-2000s, I was the first to say, “Zombies don’t shoot people in the back and take their shit. People shoot people in the back and take their shit.”
Explained here in one of my more popular previous articles, Zombie Apocalypse Survival: The Rules!, the thing you should be prepared to deal with more than even zombies in the apocalyptic terrascape is roving bands of assholes. I said that! Did you catch the Terminus episodes of The Walking Dead? Did you catch the Governor’s act? That guy was an asshole. Did you notice how often our heroes had to deal with non-zombie bad people?
Also, long lost Examiner editors first encouraged and then ordered me to stop using the A-word and the S-word, but what harsh language is more appropriate when talking about the worst of times? Could I say the world has gone to a stinky place?
What else can you call a roving band of evil people determined to take what you have and kill you? What’s the better adjective or noun than the A-word for these people? Roving bands of misbegottens? Roving bands of deviant survivors? Roving bands of ill-mannered hooligans? Hey! Actually that seems to work. The Governor, what an ill-mannered hooligan. The Wolverines, what a shitty band of assholes. Hmmmm.
Okay. I will stop using the word asshole as the editors ordered and instead of asshole I will use the term ill-mannered hooligans. Yes, that is much better than assholes…editorially. And instead of shit, the S-word and what the editors want, well, I will just have to keep thinking through that one. But I digress…
There are some realism problems with The Walking Dead and its little brother spin-off show, AMC’s Fear The Walking Dead. A discussion of these two shows allows for a chance to share with you some dos and don’ts and survival tips. The best tips are always collected in my more than 40 other previous zombie apocalypse public service announcement (PSA) Examiner articles, which you can search for and find on my main Examiner page. Do me a favor and read those and share them. Thank you. Here is a link to one of my favorite zombie articles on Examiner: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Aphorisms.
I’ve said it many times before. When I watch TV shows and movies about zombies I do so with no expectation of seeing anything remotely realistic with regards to a true zombie apocalypse or even with regards to a routine zombie outbreak. You have to know that Hollywood makes zombie movies to be entertaining and to sell advertisement space and residuals and syndication rights. You can catch past seasons of The Walking Dead on ITunes, Netflix, and on TBS. Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!
These shows are more entertaining than they are realistic. Hollywood intends to entertain and a real zombie outbreak would never be entertaining, except for some deranged people that I know. Even so, there is some value to watching Hollywood’s zombie outbreak products just so you are more aware and ready when the impending zombie apocalypse happens.
It will happen. We are right on schedule for a pandemic zombie outbreak. Check the CDC’s website and you will see what I mean (www.cdc.gov). I am encouraging you to do your homework on this and search online for global warming, pandemic outbreaks, and epidemic threats and countermeasures related to zombie outbreaks. You’ll be tested soon. Don’t be afraid; be prepared.
For AMC’s two current and premier zombie TV shows heavily marketed by Hollywood, first let me give credit to the writers of both shows. These writers and a few other contributors to recent Hollywood zombie products have been reading my articles. Wish they would share some residuals with me for using my ideas in their shows and movies now that I think about it, but I started this as a PSA to educate people about the real threat of pandemic global zombie outbreaks and the impending pandemonium and apocalypse that’s to come and doing the good work for the people will have to be is its own reward for now.
Let me quickly cover what exactly from my previous articles has ended up in Hollywood. First and foremost, a true zombie outbreak is real and it can ONLY occur by piggy-backing onto another global pandemic outbreak such as the Spanish Flu of 1918. All we need today is for a mutated strain of the bird flu (H1N1) or the Swine Flu (H5N1) to pick up a few more genetic markers and BOOM! Millions will die just like in 1918 and some of them will reanimate and infect people with Z-virus, just like in 1918.
CDC estimates say about 3% of the world’s population died in 1918 from the Spanish Flu and about 70% of the population actually had the Spanish Flu and about 30% actually got sick from the flu. You get a sense that the Spanish Flu was not that deadly even though about 50 million people died from it worldwide. Can you imagine the flu today killing 50 to 150 million people worldwide in one bad year? Today? None of us were alive in 1918 to experience the chaos that was going on, so I suggest you read a few first-hand accounts of it.
- http://www.flu.gov/pandemic/history/1918/the_pandemic/voiceofpandemic/ -Use this site to see accounts of how your state dealt with the deadly 1918 pandemic.
Zombie outbreaks piggy-backing some sort of pandemic outbreak like the flu, piggy-backing some sort of pandemic outbreak or two or five, as you watch Fear the Walking Dead when it airs this weekend, just remember how it all begins near the end of the CDC’s sponsored movie, Contagion. Watch this movie and when you see all those infected bodies stacked up all over the place, just know that the zombie apocalypse is the sequel, the part II, the next chapter to this movie. Fear the Walking Dead and The Walking Dead are the next chapters. You must watch Contagion.
Next, in anticipation of this newest Hollywood zombie product, I will add more details and spoilers that are guaranteed to blow your mind unless you have been reading all my articles already. We can get through this week with a deep dive on all things zombie in no less than four articles. I’ll drop them on Examiner and you stay tuned.
In the meantime, did you get your flu shot, are you washing your hands frequently, are you staying away from sick people, are you collecting the supplies you will need, and are you working on your toughness groove? You’re running out of time. That’s okay. I’ll help you navigate all this. Stay tuned.