We are all imperfect people and sometimes we forget that other people are human too. Parents are the people that we are the hardest on, followed by those we love the most. After all, if we don’t love someone there is a limit to how much they are capable of causing hurt whether they are living or dead. Try as we may we can’t help but love them. Try as we may we can’t help but wake up in the morning only to fall short in keeping the promises we make to others.Should we recall our own broken promises could we find it easier to forgive others?
Someone once asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone. His answer was seven times times seven …perhaps an infinite number. He may have meant this is the amount of time we are to stay with someone who mistreats us but only the amount of time we should remember that they are human just as we are.
That being said, there is nothing like the death of a love one to put it all into perspective. Just having one more moment, hour or day to share with someone we love puts that pile of bills, that argument, even that damaged fender bender and lost set of keys all in perspective.
Why then do we find it so hard to use that perspective to take it easy on others and also to forgive ourselves? Could it be because that same heart that causes us to love someone also causes us to so fervently beat up on others, as well as ourselves?
What we all yearn for more than anything is validation. It is underneath the cause of almost every indifference, no matter how trivial we may think it to be. It is at the root of troubles between parents and children, spouses, and then as we grow older the parent child relationship is reversed and we must face it all again.
The scariest part of life is not the academic test, the big job promotion, the big game that we must face. The scariest part of life is that someone that we truly love will say, “No”, leave us, cheat on us, reject us or hurt us in some heartbreaking way. The truth is if we did not love them we would not even care but because we do their rejection or their dying and “leaving us” hurts so very, very much. It is then and only then we are left to ask, “So what now? “Will we survive?” We will but each day will be a journey – some days we will long to remember and others beg to forget. The days will come when the hurt is not as fresh and others when the hurt is as if it has just begun. but still life goes on…we go on .
Those who truly care would wish the best for us. God wants the best for us. That little voice that is deep inside – way deep inside – would want us just to forgive. We would answer – “working on it”– we are just human …after all.