In healthy relationships involving mature people, nobody needs to be the boss. Unfortunately, many of today’s relationships are not mature. They are not based on mutual love and respect. And so, one partner, usually the man, tries to be the boss.
Religious Oppression. One of the main reasons why men try to be the boss in relationships is because on a subconscious level they believe that men are superior to women. They learned through history, television and their own parents that men are stronger, smarter, and better than women. Even Christianity supports the idea that men are the boss because the bible says that the wife should obey her husband and that the man is the head of the household. When you have to obey someone, then he is the boss. Most boys grow up with the idea that they get to be the boss and that “God” wants it this way. Marriage ceremonies still have brides saying that they promise to love, honor and OBEY the groom, but there are no wedding vows telling men to obey their brides.
Societal Expectations. In general, society gives men the power to dominate women. This has been happening for so long that it’s now subconscious. Even men who try to be open-minded and have equal relationship with their girlfriends or wives feel pressured to take on a domineering role. For example, when men listen to their wives, or allow them to make important decisions, the men are called ‘wimps’ or other degrading names that make them feel the need to defend their manhood. I have personally seen and heard women tell their sons “you need to be a man and put your wife in place.” I’ve heard men question their brothers or friends “Who wears the pants in your family?” whenever they see a situation in which the woman looks like she has some power in the relationship. Even worse, many parents encourage their sons not to marry strong or smart women because they are difficult to control. Parents prefer that their sons have submissive wives who do everything they are told. Even though most people say that men and women should have equal rights, they don’t really mean it or believe it. And in most cases men are the boss in relationships.
Give Me Liberty. This is probably one of the reasons that relationships keep breaking up, and why today’s women are deciding to remain single. Nobody wants to be controlled by another person. No one wants to feel like they are a slave. A man who wants a really good relationship needs to respect his partner and give her the freedom to be her own person. She should not have to ask permission to make choices about her life. Some women ask permission to cut their hair or buy a new pair of shoes. This is not how an adult should behave. No one should expect an adult to ask permission. If a man wants to be the boss he should get a dog, not a wife.
No Damsels in Distress. On the other hand, there are a lot of women who have become the boss in relationships. One reason for this change in women is because they grew up with divorced parents. They were raised in homes in which their mom was the head of the household. They watched their mother do everything. She worked full-time to take care of them, did all the housework, and maintained the yard. These women learned that females could do everything without a man because they watched their moms do everything . They learned to be strong and independent. They know how to take care of themselves. No man could ever be the boss in a relationship with them, and so, in many instances these women end up bossing their companions.
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