Vin Diesel has a lot on his plate these days. “The Fast and the Furious” franchise will go on and Part 8 will be in theaters before you know it (April 14, 2017 to be exact). He will reportedly return to the “XXX” franchise as Xander Cage too. However, if the movie gods be merciful, please don’t let them add “The Last Witch Hunter” to his franchise movie list. The movie opens today, October 23 in theaters all over South Florida.
Kauder (Diesel) knows how to fight witches. He has being doing so for the last 800 years. New forces, or is it old forces, have surfaced. In order to fight this latest threat, he must make alliances with those he never thought he would before. If he is unsuccessful, it could mean the end of the world as we know it.
“The Last Witch Hunter” would be classified as an action/adventure, fantasy horror movie. The major problem with is you will not find any of those qualities. There are scenes that contain action and etc in it, but they are so poorly executed by director Breck Eisner that they hardly qualify to be classified as such. The only thing those parts accomplish is if you wish to take a nap during the movie or make out with a date in the back of the theater since there is nothing to distract you up on the screen.
It’s doubtful anyone has ever described Eisner as a director who can “deliver the goods.” He hasn’t directed a movie in five years. The last one he did was the remake of “The Crazies” and he messed that movie up too. Sometimes in “The Last Witch Hunter” there will be a scene where Kauder is prepping to go stop the villains. Exciting music plays and you know the goal of those scenes is to jack up the audience in anticipation of what’s to come, but the only reaction those scenes get is a “ho-hum.” The movie never builds up a moment of tension, there is no chemistry between the characters, the bad guys in this don’t even feel very threatening.
Even from a technical point of view, “The Last Witch Hunter” fails. The very first frames of the movie is a shaky helicopter shot. The opening scenes are edited with quick cuts, like a music video of old, so it’s difficult to follow the action. The three writers who worked on the script should not be high-fiving each other either, there was never any flow to it.
Besides Vin Diesel, “The Last Witch Hunter” does have an impressive cast attached to it. Michael Caine, Elijah Wood and what should please “Game of Throne” fans, Rose Leslie. The sad part though is none of them turn in their best work here. The whole thing is a mess from start to finish. The only time you get scared is at the end when they set up that there could be more of these movies one day. Hopefully, this will suffer the same fate as “John Carter” and will perform too poorly to warrant any sequels. We can only hope. It is rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images.