Scenario: You made an appointment with a Realtor you’ve never met to go look at apartments in your new town. You arrive at your first appointment and find an absolutely gorgeous man or woman waiting who turns out to be your Realtor. He or she smiles at you a lot, perhaps gets a bit suggestive when you look at the bedroom, he or she mentions that cooking isn’t their forte and squeezes in the fact that he or she is single when you are looking around the kitchen, and, you are loving the attention. Then you stop to think for a minute and then question in your mind: is he or she flirting or is this merely part of his or her sales pitch?
Flirting is healthy and can be fun (not to mention an ego boost if someone flirts back with you) but, are you flirting or just being friendly? Sometimes it can be hard to tell.
The art of flirting takes practice and it only comes naturally to the most over confident people. As for the rest of us, it takes work to get it right, but, it isn’t impossible to learn. The goal of flirting, beyond making someone and yourself feel good, is to begin a conversation with someone (if you are using flirting as a dating tool.) Start with the two basics: smiling and eye contact, and, flattery.
A smile and eye contact go a long way. If you see someone you think is pretty or handsome then catch their eye and flash them a smile. It doesn’t have to mean anything, it doesn’t mean you have to engage the person in conversation (unless you wish and the other person seems open to talking) and it certainly doesn’t mean you are looking to replace your wife or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend. Making eye contact and smiling is the quickest and easiest way to flirt with someone. The trick to this type of flirting is how long you engage the other person. If you stop eye contact and smiling too soon, the person might not pick up on your signal. If you make your eye contact and smile too long, you may come across as a psychopath. If you only wish to flirt, keep the smile and all important eye contact on the person brief, under 5 seconds. If you wish to go further and talk, then keep the eye contact and smile going between 5 to 10 seconds. If you get a smile back, then, and, only then start a conversation.
Flattery will get you everywhere — with most people. Everyone loves a compliment! Think about how your own ego gets boosted if someone tells you that a certain color looks great on you or that they love your new haircut or outfit. It makes you feel great, right? So, if you want someone to think of you in a positive way then give them a compliment. So, tell someone that you love the scent they are wearing and ask what brand if the information isn’t volunteered. Or compliment someone on their shoes or any other garment of clothing, it’s just a way to get a conversation started and, with time, you might just find yourself going out on a date. And don’t get discouraged, it may take several rounds of flirting to pick up the signal if someone is into you and is willing to go out with you (provided that is your intention.)