In this second in the franchise of Ted movies, Ted, Seth MacFarlane, marries his girlfriend, Tami-Lyn, Jessica Barth and they decide to have a baby to fix their marital problems. However, in doing this, they discover that Ted, is considered ‘property’ in the eyes of the law. As a consequence he loses his job, his marriage is annulled and all his credit cards are cancelled. John, Mark Wahlnberg, decides that they must sue the federal government for Teds’ civil rights. The question is who will take their case? And can they prevail?
While the entire premise of this film is loosely predicated on themes that are akin to gay rights, slavery etc, the problem is that it feels like they (the writers) are lecturing to the their audience rather than telling a story. There are no authentic characters and no likeable ones either. MacFarlane’s Ted sounds like Peter from Family Guy, but acts like a cross between Quagmire, Peter and Brian. He is a pot smoking, foul-mouthed, crude, rude, selfish and nasty character. Maybe this is supposed to be funny, but it is not.
The “F” word is said so many times in this film that it may have outdone “The Wolf of Wall Street” and MacFarlane’s other ghastly comedy, “A Million Ways to Die in the West”. (The only saving grace here is that it is not as gross, however it comes close). In fact the “F” word is used as a joke and punchline. Yet uttering it for the sake of the word alone is not humorous and leaves one with a feeling of boredom which is unpalatable to say the least.
This has a pre-baked feel to it, in that the beginning credits, with the bears running down the side of a wedding cake is reminiscent of a Family Guy, in which they do a similar thing. It is as if MacFarlane could not think of anything original, so he threw that in hoping people would either not notice, or think he was merely lampooning himself.
Ted and John embark on a journey to find a lawyer who will take their case, and of course find one in Amanda Seyfried, Samantha, who is a pot smoking intern at her father’s prestigious firm. After this there are so many scenes of Ted, John and Sam getting high and incongruous plot developments that allow them to get high, that one loses count.
There is laced within this a myriad of actors such as Michael Dorn, Sam Jones, Morgan Freeman, John Slattery etc who have cameo performances, but none of this can lift this into an arena where it even approaches being mildly humorous. It is crass to the nth degree. The problem with all of this is that we the viewer, simply don’t care. There are no memorable lines, characters or scenes, in which one can say this was unique and special. One can only hope that after this, film this will be the end of the series.
Most people slept with a teddy bear or stuffed animal, and their memories of this are sweet. These were comfort toys that helped children through the night or adjust to a difficult transition such as from staying home with their mother to daycare. Yet, MacFarlane takes this innocuous childhood tradition, and manages to turn it into something dirty and worse, reprehensible. The struggle for gay rights, or for equality for all races will not be furthered by such tripe as this and one hopes in the end, it will soon be forgotten.