Trying to start a family can be a wonderful experience; depending on how long it takes. Some people it only takes one session of trying before they conceive while others it may take years. For some of those who can’t get pregnant right away, a strain is put on the relationship. Here’s what to look out for if you and your significant other are having difficulty conceiving.
One of the first signs you’re putting a strain on your relationship is when you dread the time of the month where you ‘have’ to try. Women technically can only get pregnant when they ovulate. For the typical cycle of a woman, ovulation only occurs for 12-24 hours, give or take depending on the person. There are some women who do ovulate more than once a month but many only ovulate once. This means you only have one out of 30 or so days to get pregnant a month. In a 28 day cycle, that’s 24 hours out of 672.
This can become daunting considering even with the best devices, unless you are going for an ultra sound every month, you can’t pin point the exact day you ovulate. There are apps that help you via your cell phone but they give you a 5 day expectation to begin “baby dancing”. When you’ve been trying for a long time to have a baby, having sex becomes more like a chore than actually making love. You start to dread it as if you were going to work instead of enjoying the closeness of your partner.
Another thing to watch out for is when the two of you begin to fight more often. Some couples begin to subconsciously feel resentment to the other partner for not giving them a family. This in turn makes every little thing their partner does irritating. This is one sign to be careful of as it can crumble a relationship. There is no particular fight to watch out for, just observe yourself and try to notice when every little thing is irritating you about your significant other.
While there are many other signs, the last sign in this article is when you don’t want to be around your significant other any more than needed. The days of binge watching movies all weekend have come to an end and now you can’t wait for work on Monday to get away from them. You may also find yourself debating whether or not you should just end things due to not giving each other what the other wants; a family.
While the solutions to these problems are simple, it will take hard work to keep your relationship thriving. If you don’t nip these strains now, they will only grow with each passing day. It’s time you ask yourself how much your relationship really means to you and if you are willing to do anything to maintain it.
1. Sex can become a chore if you make it feel like a chore. It’s understandable that you just want to conceive but stress can alter your fertility. Instead of dreading it, try to do something spontaneous. Do you always have sex in the bedroom? Try having it in the bathroom, or if you’re really feeling adventurous, have it in the kitchen. Spicing things up will help bring back the desire for one another.
2. Fighting is natural in a relationship, but when it starts to take over as that is the only thing that happens when you two talk, that’s when you need to take action. Think back to when the two of you first got together. You two are not the same people you once were so you constantly have to fall in love with each other every day. Think of the traits you love about them and you will realize why you are with them to begin with. Unless it’s a huge problem as lying or infidelity, fighting is typically pointless.
3. Wanting your personal time vs being sick of being around your partner are two separate feelings. If you can’t even stand to spend a day with them doing what you used to love, then you know there’s a problem. Try creating new hobbies or go out to dinner. This may allow you to reconnect with the person you fell in love with. Everyone changes so get to know the person you’re with now and set the fertility problems to the back burner for a night.
While it feels impossible to not think about starting a family or the fertility issues the two of you face, try to remember what is the foundation of creating a family. You two are creating a family because you love each other. The two of you should be each others support system and help one another through the struggle. Never let one person feel alone in the baby making process. Any two people can create a baby, but it takes two people who are in love to create a family.
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