Who broke up this week, just to make up by the weekend? Whose baby mama/baby daddy is causing trouble with the new boo? Who’s being cheated on again? Sometimes, depending on who you’re connected to through social media, you can find all of the answers to these questions without even picking up your phone (at least in the interest of making an actual phone call).
Social media has truly changed the way in which we view and live out our relationships. What we used to live out privately, we now share with the world. Our friends and family get to view some of our most intimate moments, while perfect strangers, people we don’t know beyond what they “post to be”, are looking into the windows of our lives. Is this what we really signed up for? And if so, is it really wise to share such personal, and sometimes hurtful, details with everyone?
While all of this sharing is what social media is supposed to be in a nut shell, there’s always a danger in sharing too much. Outside of the physical dangers that we face from social media (stalkers, criminals), there’s also the dangers to our relationships by sharing too many intimate details. Now, it’s understood that each individual’s social media page is their own and they can share what they want, even if it appears to be too much info. If we don’t like what we see, we should unfollow or unfriend them. But for those that may be interested, here are a few suggestions about what probably shouldn’t be shared so freely on social media sites about your relationship:
When you fight – Disagreements are natural, but how we ever expect to solve anything by getting opinions from people that sometimes don’t even know us at all makes no sense. That’s not to suggest that strangers never have any valuable input, but how can anyone make an accurate judgment without knowing the nuances of the people involved? Which partner tends to overreact? Which partner is overly sensitive? Reading one status from one half of a couple, how do you know you’re getting accurate information? There’s no room for rebuttal.
The truth is social media rarely solves anything. It only exacerbates things. This is true whether it’s a relationship or a discussion about race or politics. It actually highlights our differences more than it bridges any gaps. Not one thing has ever been solved by a status full of people hiding behind keyboards and cell phones. Arguing through social media is the same as arguing in a room full of people. And when that happens, you have more people looking and chiming in because they’re nosey, but real solutions come when people work out their own problems, face to face and one on one, without the aid of social media couples counselling.
What goes on in your bedroom – There was a time when people understood that the easiest way to cause somebody to approach your partner in the interest of cheating was to tell them what they like in bed. Whether on Facebook or amongst friends privately, the bedroom door should remain closed to outsiders. All of your quirks and turn-ons are really no one else’s business. Sharing too much is just asking for trouble.
If others see that two healthy people are dating or married, they’re able to make the logical leap that there’s physical activity going on. There’s no need for a step-by-step replay of what goes on in the bedroom. Unless that is the purpose of your page, the books you’re using, your “particular set of skills”, and all of that should be reserved for one another. If everyone knows, how is it special anymore?
And furthermore, it’s also not healthy to discuss what isn’t happening in the bedroom. I can’t think of an instance where publicly embarrassing someone that you’re in a relationship with concerning sex has ever been beneficial. When it comes to our sex lives, it should always be left to speculation by our “friends” and “followers”.
Who’s “hating” on your current relationship – I know it’s popular to foster an “us against the world” mentality in a relationship, but is the entire world really against you? Often we overstate the importance of our relationship to other people. People that we think really care enough to dislike us are often indifferent about us. But even in the event that someone is hating, why wouldn’t you want to have something that people may be a little envious of? Not to the point of true hate, but maybe just admiration and wishful thinking for their own lives.
Also, the thinking may be that an ex somewhere is wishing ill on your current relationship, and that may be true. But they’re an ex for a reason. Why look back at what you left behind? If there are some ill feelings about the fact that you’ve moved on, let them rest with the person that insists on carrying that baggage. And in the event that someone really is hating on your relationship, why give them the energy of a status? We should be placing all of our energy into what we currently have. Share your good times and share your special moments. We shouldn’t look to share our persecutions more than we share our successes.
There is something that we shouldn’t mind sharing, and that’s how happy we actually are. Now, it’s understood that some people don’t want to see certain happy couples splashed all over their timelines either. Such is life these days, and if couples seem a little too sugary for you, there’s still that unfollow and unfriend option that we spoke of. However, it seems sad that we’d rather watch a house burn down as opposed to watching one being built.