The purpose of this piece shouldn’t be misunderstand. On the surface, it may seem as if you’re being told that the same ol’ same ol’ is what couples should strive for. Nothing could be further from the truth. Adventure keeps things interesting and keeps a relationship from growing stagnant. It assists in keeping the fires burning. But bringing things in that are unwanted, or even shocking, can cause the wrong kind of excitement.
Being on the inside of a relationship gives a privilege that outsiders don’t have, nor should they. Couples should take every suggestion they receive (even here) for what it is: a suggestion. They must be willing to analyze their own relationships. What works for others may be disaster for you. Consider your partner and consider the dynamics of your own relationship. If what you’re hearing could possibly work, try it. If not, keep looking until you find what works for you and yours.
Women are thought to be the complicated ones in relationships, while men are thought to be easy to figure out. While there is truth in that thinking, it is also because women tend to be more complicated that they often complicate some things in the relationship by over thinking and over analyzing. When it comes to understanding a man, this can lead to turning basic math into advanced calculus.
One of the worst things that can be done in any relationship, whether by the man or the woman, is making assumptions rather than asking questions. It would seem that we should be more willing to go straight to the point and get clarity, rather than take a chance by guessing. When it comes to a woman satisfying her man, there’s often a lot of advice being given, but the best advice is surely right there inside the mind of that man. It seems that if men are so simple, then finding out what pleases them should be as well.
Here are just a few things for women to consider when trying to get inside the mind of man:
You don’t need a guru, you need to talk – Seems like an odd thing to say in a relationship column, huh? Well, it’s the truth. Whether it’s in this column or in your favorite book, nothing beats that old standby: talking. No matter what kind of advice you receive from wherever you receive it, the only way to know if it works in your relationship is to talk to your partner. There’s no such thing as one size fits all advice. What you hear or read may make perfect sense in your mind, but if it doesn’t fit your relationship, you wind up creating a problem, not a solution. There’s nothing wrong with seeking counsel, but there can be something damaging about bringing opinions into your relationship that don’t fit.
Believe it or not, men know what they want from their women – As stated once, there’s no such thing as one size fits all. Ladies, just because other men like something doesn’t mean your man will like it. Just because he may have liked something in the past doesn’t mean he still wants it (believe it or not, men can and do evolve). And here’s the most important thing: Just because you want to do it doesn’t mean he will enjoy it. Now, where this gets tricky is in the fact that if a woman loves her man, she’s well intentioned and she just wants to please him. Men should appreciate this, but women shouldn’t push a man into a corner where he’s indulging in things just to keep from hurting her feelings and seeming as if he doesn’t appreciate the effort.
It isn’t stated often, but there is a uniqueness to all men. Both genders have some general similarities that can be found in the majority of the people. But we all have our fingerprints. Those things about us that make us who we are. Advice be damned, a woman should know her man’s “fingerprint”, and vice versa. Again, there’s nothing wrong with trying something new every now and then, but a woman should not only know her man well enough to know what he will and won’t enjoy, but she should always consider it.
Keep your rhythm and continuity – Lastly, the best bands you’ll ever see know how to keep their rhythm. Even if the song changes, everybody knows how to play their part. It’s only when they try and stretch outside of their capabilities that they struggle. Your relationship should be just like that band. Every now and then, you might try something different that challenges you, but you should always know your sound. Know what works and what doesn’t. Know how to find your way back to your own groove when you’re out of tune. It’s so easy to get lost when you go away from what works in search of something new. And while I encourage exploration, it should always been done with the idea that it will strengthen what you have. If anyone is uncomfortable, uncertain, or unsure about what’s happening, what will you gain? More importantly, what will you lose?