Australia has something of a reputation for being a death continent. Animals, spiders, bugs, even the weather seem to be against humans surviving. Sometimes people get locked into mortal battles with some of these foes and it can be mistaken for something else if heard from a distance. That’s where our story begins.
Police were called to a Wollstonecraft home following shouting and death threats, as well as what sounded like a physical struggle. Neighbors, fearing that there may be a domestic violence situation, made the call to express their concerns. It seems they heard a woman screaming hysterically and a man shouting “I’m gonna kill you, [you’re] dead! Die! Die! DIE!” They also heard what sounded like furniture being thrown around.
When police arrived the resident answered the door, seemingly confused. They began questioning him about what he had done with his wife or girlfriend, to which he replied that he didn’t have one. Police pressed him about the ruckus and the woman screaming. That’s when he realized what was going on. From the Police department’s Facebook post on the incident:
“At this point the male became very sheepish.
Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?
Male: It was a spider.
Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police: What about the women screaming?
Male: Yeah, sorry, that was me. I really, really hate spiders.”
Police investigated further to ensure that there really was no threat to any woman in the place and, satisfied that the spider really was the culprit, left after sharing a laugh with the arachnophobe with the effeminate screams.
The man was not identified in the post.