Have you ever pretended to be Surprise Kitty? Own a pair of cat ears, perhaps? Do you meow on occasion and expect people to understand your response? If any of these honestly universal human behaviors apply, I have just the game for you.
Now you can live the life of a cat, and a badass one at that, from the comfort of your own PC, Mac, or Linux box. Catlateral Damage comes out on Steam tomorrow, May 27th, 2015. But because you’re a cat, you’re extraordinarily picky and ever prudent in your decisions, so let’s take a deeper look at what other essential experiences this game will bring you.
Walk around a house on all fours, viewing everything as if you really stood one foot off the ground. Crouch in your feline way to get surprisingly even lower to the ground. Jump onto beds, counters, and nightstands like your legs are made of high-grade carbon steel springs. Look at your paws because they’re adorable and you’ve always wanted paws instead of hands. Now look at your right one. Now your left one. Right, no, nope, left again. Okay, we’re good.
Now imagine, you’re just a cat in a house with all of these finely honed skills and deadly capabilities. What to do, what to do… will you use your cat-given talents for the forces of good? Of course not! You’re a cat, after all.
Perhaps you’re in the midst of a personal identity crisis; no one takes you seriously because you’re so fuzzy and cute on the outside, so you often express your disdain through frequent malevolent side-glares and gross little hate packages left in the form of chucked up balls of your hair. Might it be that the occasional broken glass or shattered lamp is a cathartic means of expression, your way of telling the humans and the world that I’m here, I’m not as cute as I seem, and I don’t belong shackled within the bounds of this person-box called a home.
Either way, you’re hell-bent on the destruction of mankind and all he stands for, and now, you are no longer satisfied with these isolated incidents of rebellion. You are here to make a statement. You are a cat, and must stand up for all cathood. And you will continue to knock over anything and everything you please.
Catlateral Damage allows you to express these notions of rage and mild nefarious amusement to the fullest. Knock all the books off their shelves. Push the pots and pans off the kitchen counter and frighten yourself with the metallic cacophony that ensues. Go ahead, be a cat and live the life you’ve always dreamed.
The man behind all of this catastrophic destruction, Chris Chung, is a cat-loving developer, programmer, and artist who is heavily involved in the indie scene. Check out his cats, screenshots from the game, and most importantly, my furrvorite fraands in the slideshow above.
If you’ve yet to be convinced, check out this cat-diculous trailer or Pewdiepie’s awesome-as-always gameplay walk through on Youtube, as shown above.
Don’t forget to play Catlateral Damage tomorrow anywhere on Steam and find out the answers to the ever-pressing questions: Do you have the power, or moreover, the audacity to knock over a 50-inch flat screen TV? What happens if you let destructa-cat loose on an unsuspecting grocery store? Why are you so angry?