Don’t you just hate when you go to the zoo and there’s a wizard harassing the animals? Like, the dude is just up there chanting at gorillas and shaking bells at cheetahs? Oh, you say this has never happened to you? Well, you must not be a patron of the Orana Wildlife Park in Christchurch, New Zealand.
That’s what officials are saying Andrew Wright has been doing, at least until he angered the gorillas so much that he had to be banned from the zoo, according to UPI on August 17. Wright, who considers himself an energy healer, believed he was helping the animals with his antics, which included the aforementioned chanting and ringing Tibetan bells at cheetahs. However, once he started beating his chest at the gorillas, the universal sign of challenging dominance against the primates, he had to be thrown out permanently.
Wright claims the gorillas enjoyed the chanting and singing, and even believes that one striking the glass at him was meant as a high five, or was playing tag when it smashed into the enclosure with its shoulder. As a side note, Wright apparently has no concept of reality and thinks animals think like people.
Wright is apparently not the only wizard who goes to the park to try to use magic to…do something. We aren’t really sure what they hope to accomplish because it takes a special type of mentality to go to the zoo and perform magic incantations while harassing animals, all the while thinking they are helping. The zoo usually allows the shenanigans, so long as the animals aren’t harmed. However, in Wright’s case, the gorillas were so riled up that they had to take action. He was issued a refund for his yearly pass, however, because the zoo is way nicer than they should have been.
In all seriousness, hassling animals at zoos can lead to serious problems for the animals. It stresses them out and can lead them to harming one another, or even themselves. It should also go without saying, but you should never beat your chest at a gorilla, in the wild or at the zoo, unless you plan on fighting it. And you will not win a fight with a gorilla.
“We don’t normally go out and beat our chest in front of gorilla cages,” another local wizard told New Zealand’s 3News. “It’s not the normal behavior of wizards. You wouldn’t get merit points for that.”
Honestly, that just raises more questions. How many wizards are there in New Zealand? Why is that worded so specifically–do they beat their chests in front of other animals’ enclosures, or is it that they do other things in front of the gorilla cages? And, perhaps the most important question of all, what do Kiwi wizards get merit points for if it isn’t for pissing off gorillas?
Oh, here’s Andrew Wright’s YouTube channel. Enjoy.