Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
Starring: Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, Neal McDonough
All these years later and still reveling in the glory of his fabled Black Friday heroics, Paul Blart (James), the Segue-riding security guard, has earned himself a much-needed vacation – and he’s headed to the Security Officers Convention in Las Vegas. But upon arrival, Blart and his daughter, Maya (Rodriguez), stumble across a large-scale art heist. Can Blart summon his mall cop skills and take down the despicable Vincent Sofel (McDonough) and his henchmen? Or will his bumbling stupidity forever sully the reputation of the brave men and women who keep our shopping centers safe?
The first sign of concern should come when you realize that it’s a Kevin James film. Admittedly, he’s had a couple funny movies, but it’s not like he’ll ever be nominated for an Academy Award. The second sign of trouble should come when you see that it’s a Happy Madison film; that means it was produced by Adam Sandler. James and Sandler are Hollywood BFFs and they make a lot of really terrible comedies together. It’s a fact of life. With those two points in mind…
Are you still reading? If so, let’s continue.
As per company standard, James and the folks over at Happy Madison recycle a lot of actors. If you’ve ever seen “Here Comes the Boom” (which, believe it or not, the Salt Lake City DVD Examiner actually did like!), you’ll likely recognize a lot of these faces. It’s like the guys have sworn allegiance to support every Sandler-produced show until the end of time. Bad acting and cheesy dialogue abound throughout the film. Blart’s daughter, Maya, and the esteemed mall cop, respectively, are chiefly to blame. Another impossibly beautiful woman falls for the out-of-shape doofus? Of course! Additionally, horrible costuming is a bit of an issue, too, as one character has a ludicrously bad hairpiece – once you see it, it’s hard to take your eyes off of it. And one of the greatest sins of “Mall Cop 2” is that most of the parts that could have been genuinely funny were shown in the trailer.
Furthermore, as can be expected from anything starring Kevin James, there are a ton of jokes and gags revolving on his physique. While he apparently thinks it quite funny, those who struggle with their weight and/or self-image might not exactly end up rolling on the floor with laughter. For stretches, it feels like more of a comedy spoof than an actual comedy.
As far as the plot is concerned, it’s largely a snoozefest and the glaring problems previously mentioned will readily distract audiences from following it for a majority of the run time. Yet somehow, as the film approaches its final act, Blart magically transforms from blundering buffoon to super-security guard, disregarding his struggles for the first 70 minutes of the movie. This aspect of the show is both illogical and somewhat appreciated because viewers may actually get a few chuckles out of the showdown between the art thieves and Blart’s rag-tag team of officers.
But it’s not nearly enough to salvage the broken pieces of another lackluster family comedy.
In the end, this movie is not worth watching. It’s not very funny, it’s hardly entertaining and it probably just wasn’t necessary in the first place. From a social standpoint, Blart is a know-it-all poser that no actual people would want to be friends with in real life. Depressingly for him, 94 more minutes with this guy are way more than enough. Do yourselves a favor and steer your Segue way clear of this one. The mall is now closed. Please make your way to the exit and, please, drive home safely.
Similar movies: “Paul Blart Mall Cop” (2009), “Here Comes the Boom” (2012), “Zookeeper” (2011)
DVD bonus features:
– Audio in English, English Descriptive Audio, French, French Descriptive Audio, Spanish, Thai
– Subtitles in English, Chinese Simplified, Chinese Traditional, French, Indonesian, Korean, Spanish, Thai
– No other bonus features available on rental version
Directed by: Andy Fickman
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Running time: 94 minutes
MPAA rating: PG for “some violence,” including violence against women and an animal and some rude humor
Costars: Daniella Alonso, Loni Love, David Henrie, Eduardo Verastegui, Gary Valentine
DVD release date: July 14, 2015
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