You married a sweet and lovely woman, right? Obviously, you fell in love with her at some point so deeply that you wanted nothing more than to share the rest of your life with her. And then, somewhere around the middle of her life, something begins to happen and there are changes that you never anticipated. Or, maybe you recall your own mother going through these same changes and did anticipate them, but you still aren’t quite sure what to do. All you know is that you want to be able to help this woman somehow.
Almost every woman will go through menopause, or the “change”, at some point, usually between the ages of forty and fifty. The intensity of it can vary significantly from woman to woman, as well as the length of time that it lasts. There are physical, emotional, and sometimes mental changes that will be taking place in her body as her hormones fluctuate and prepare for the next chapter in her life. You may feel helpless, but there are really many things that you can do to help her get through it with as much sanity and comfort as possible.
You will do well to begin with educating yourself about what is happening to your wife. Get a book about menopause and equip yourself with knowledge to increase your understanding. If you know other men who have already gotten through this time or are, at least, further along in the process than you are, you can talk with them and ask what helped in their situation, as well as what didn’t help at all.
Encourage your wife to see her primary care physician or gynecologist when menopause begins. There are many forms of treatment that are available today and can make the transition much less traumatic and decrease the intensity of the symptoms she is experiencing.
Your wife may be feeling like she is getting old and leaving her youth behind. This can be very difficult for women. Compliment her frequently and be as sincere as possible. She needs to know that she is still special to you and that you find her just as pleasing as ever before. Let her know that she is beautiful and that you desire her, just as you did in years past.
Do the special things for her that you did to win her heart in the beginning. Send her flowers, leave a card for her, chocolates can’t hurt, and love notes are treasured items that only take a moment of your time and cost you nothing at all. If possible, take a weekend away once in a while for just the two of you.
There will be physical changes that she will be going through, such as hot flashes. Accommodate these as much as possible. You may not understand how uncomfortable these changes can make her, but know with certainty that they can.
Your patience and understanding during your wife’s period of menopause will make an enormous difference in the way that she is able to handle it. She needs to know that you are right there, loving her through it all. Make sure that she has no doubt that she is secure in your heart and you will never leave her alone. Your marriage can survive menopause, love intact, and you will both go back to normal eventually. This, too, shall pass.