August in Romance Awareness Month. So here’s a frank question, so be honest. Does your marriage or relationship sizzle? Or has the romance fizzled? Here are marriage glue recipes and relationship cement tips from A to Z.
A is for appreciate. Take each other for better and worse, but never for granted. Find daily opportunities to grow closer. B is for budget time and money. Financial troubles can cause untold problems in marriages. Keep spending in check. Actively budget time to be together, don’t just passively wait for it to happen. C is for Communicate. Survey says, too much arguing causes gobs of divorces. Maybe you argue–it happens. Learn to fight fair and choose your battles. Maybe you don’t fight. But you also don’t talk and that’s not good. You need to reopen communication lines. You don’t have to (shouldn’t) always discuss heavy stuff. Laugh and chatter together.
D is for date night! Do you opposite shifts? Do you have crazy schedules? You need date time even more. Carve out time once a week. You’ll get along a lot better. E is for entertainment (shared). So you don’t like the same things? Find activities you both enjoy. F is for forgive and forget–a lot. Grudges kill relationships. Unless there’s ongoing hurt, air feelings and move on. G is for give of yourselves. Take an interest in each other. Support and champion each other’s causes.
H is for hug, embrace, cuddle. You get the picture. And from there, I is for intimacy. Is your sex life on the back burner? That’s pretty easy to let happen with kids, jobs, etc. So don’t let it happen. Enjoy what time you have. J is for juggle. Most relationships are basically functional, but couples drift apart because they let things come between them. Rearrange your schedule to include walks, meals, fun together. K is for kids. Whilst children are the fruit of your relationship, they’re also obstacles. Set boundaries. Don’t let your children run your lives.
L is for listen more than talk. This is ginormous. Identify with and affirm each other. M is for mature. Grow up and leave off childish, petty, hurtful and competitive behavior. N is for never, ever cheat. Humans are naturally jealous and exclusive to one mate. Run screaming from affairs and flirtations. Be wary of opposite-sex friendships. They can go from friend to lover fast if there’s marital strife. That includes cybercheating.
And on that note, O is for other people and relationships. Keep them in their place. A marriage is between two people and doesn’t include family, parents, friends, even children. P is for pay it forward. He said, she said–get off the merry-go-round. Apologize and forgive first. Oh, and your spouse will be more likely to reciprocate if you don’t expect it. Q is for quit being selfish. Like a three-legged race. a relationship only works if you cooperate.
R is for resist temptation. Run from spite, laziness, irritability, snappishness, apathy and ignoring each other. S is for socialize sparingly and mostly as a couple. Don’t spend more time with friends than each other–could be you’re just avoiding one another. Discover togetherness and guard it. T is for things, as in own them, don’t let them own you. Sometimes the “other woman” is his truck, the “other man” is her house.
U is for unplug smartphone and internet when you’re together. Constantly chatting with others, snapping photos “for Facebook,” tweeting, sends the message that your Internet life more important than him. She fast learns that Facebook “friends” come before her. V is for volunteer together. Do good stuff together and feel good about it. W is for work less an relax more.
X is for cross out your need to have the last word. Y is for yield control. Share and balance decisions making. Don’t always have to be the one in charge and don’t always take a back seat. Z is for zip lips. You can’t unsay words so think before you speak. Sometimes the nicest, most tolerant people are equally and oppositely nasty and intolerant of spouses. Be best friends and allies. Keep the embers alight or rekindle your romance with these easy tips.