Every year, every day, Americans allow their views of, say, the Republican Party to be influenced in ways that cause them to make inaccurate judgements about the people who make up the Republican Party. Try to formulate a fair, honest and true image of these people who choose to become members of the Republican Party. In other words, think about the individual person, as an individual person — without any preconceived ideas about who they say they are — as though you intend to spend a day or so with that individual, merely because the two of you like being in the company of each other. Judging that person, honestly, means bringing none of your own unsupported and unsupportable beliefs into your initial period of assessment. Begin with a clean slate and an open mind.
Who are they? What do they say about things, issues that are important to you? What have they done to back up what they have said about those things, those issues? How do they treat others, from your point of observation? Be careful to judge them for only those things, those incidents, in which you have had the opportunity to research first hand, not on informal information your brother-in-law happened to mention, casually, a year ago when he was angry at the world for a personal misfortune he suffered. Finding out Who they are is simply a matter of using resources readily available to you to collect information on these people — one person at a time — over a sufficient matter of time, from varied and multiple resources, compare it and make a preliminary decision about THAT person. Then, throughout the month, year, term continue to monitor and assess him or her until you are certain you know this person’s character. You will then know if you can trust this person to follow through on their word and if what they propose is morally, ethically within your comfort zone and fair to all involved. Start your assessment of others with common sense knowledge of facts that also apply to yourself.
Fact: People resist anything that indicates they might have made an error in judgement. Why? Because no one is man or woman enough to own up to their mistakes, no matter how innocent the error in judgement and intent had been. This fallacy in humans is the most abundant and most difficult to cull out and fix, primarily because that person is the only person who can fix it.
So, instead of admitting to yourself that the person who is behaving in a manner which will most definitely harm others had been one in whom you once placed high esteem and trust, you willfully deny that the person is one from whom you must withdraw that high esteem and trust. You continue to back and support that person, even in the face of obvious reasons why you should not any longer feel confident in backing and supporting him or her, merely because you are not man or woman enough to own up to your own previous mistake in initial assessment of him or her.
Fact: Get over it; you must own it. There is no worthwhile benefit in condemning yourself because you had erred in once believing he or she had been worthy of your good, favorable judgement of their character and intents. There is worthwhile benefit in removing that person from their previous status in your personal estimation of him or her and moving on with a better, more satisfying and capable choice of replacement of that person in your value system. It is not your fault that this person’s moral fibre is defective or not in compliance with your own personal system of values.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is that if you back or support a defective personality, knowingly, the fact that you agree is unmistakable. Make your decisions and alliances, wisely. Then, you will be more prone to be proud and less apologetic and combative of your stances.