So much has been written about what not to say to your significant other. Moreover, some researchers claim monogamy means monotony; this means from an evolutionary standpoint relationships cannot go the distance. While a great deal of planning and expense generally flow into a wedding, many diehard romantics are poorly prepared to deal with the daily realities after the honeymoon. In the absence of excitement and drama some couples get lost in responsibilities wondering, “Is this all there is?”
As a married woman of over forty years and a self-help author, I am happy to share the fundamental principle for a happy relationship: Positive perception which leads to an automatic reframing of negatives into positives. Positive energy is an attraction factor. Did you know that good moods and bad moods are contagious?
The main ingredient for a happy life is positivity. In a marriage this means to love what you have. Choosing to perceive your spouse as a best friend, a teammate and as a romantic conquest is all in your control. Instead of investing your imagination in a romantic movie or novel and wishing you could live with the fictional hero or heroine, put it to good use in your real relationship.
8 tips to immunize your relationship against dis-ease
- Consider going green in your relationship. Make sure your home has good air quality, a comfortable temperature and is clean. Dust, mold, clutter, dryness or excess humidity, too high or too low a temperature are stressors which subtly deplete energy and trigger irritability. Your home should be a healthy and peaceful haven.
- Eat home-cooked meals with natural, quality ingredients. Food and mood are inseparable. For a quality relationship which goes the distance, you need balanced nutrition.
- Exercise together. Exercise burns off stress hormones and releases endorphins. Testosterone levels rise for both men and women. This sets the stage for the next activity: Sexercise.
- Dress for success. Don’t take your spouse for granted – visually.
- Speak in compliments, use thank-yous and love words as opposed to attack words. Speak in phrases which express a positive future together as opposed to repetitive ancient history.
- Declutter your home. Not only will it be cleaner, but you will realize that you don’t need so much stuff. And when you don’t need stuff, you see more clearly and are able to create the life you want.
- Free up your time together with free activities: Parks, beaches, hiking, etc. No worries about making payments, just fun as a couple.
- When you get annoyed at your spouse, see him or her as a cute toddler. This will defuse the tension and prevent you from saying those words which you later regret.
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