How do you survive losing everyone and aging. We have all lost someone to the angel of death, but how do you survive it when it leaves you feeling alone, and empty. Is it really possible to feel sad, empty and numb at the same time? Human emotions are something that are hard to understand, and many of us as we age feel the loss of ourselves along with the loss of friends and family. The death of a family or friend creates grief which is an organic process, and has its own wisdom, and needs a witness. An understanding friend can be that witness. There is nothing you can do to make such a tragedy less tragic, so the grief, anger and frustration that you feel are normal reactions to the circumstances. The stages of grief are the same, shock, anger, seeking, depression and peace, but every one goes through the stages of grief differently. It’s normal to feel fear that this might happen again, rage that it happened at all. You may feel a need for prayer and comfort along with bouts of being overwhelmed and thinking you can’t go on, and finally, acceptance and understanding that this devastating event is a part of the risky life we humans all live. These feelings will come jumbled up, they’ll recycle, and come in different order, and more than once or twice. The jumble of feelings which include anger, seeking, depression, and even the feeling of being loss and alone come and go in phases.
Overtime the shock of losing someone wears off, and the permanence of the loss sets in. Everyone handles this period of loss differently, and when someone is aging the permanence of the loss of youth can complicate the emotions. Some people may feel angry and question God. Others will just feel exhausted, disconnected, and even overwhelmed. If you are feeling discouraged, just feel it, it will pass, and this maybe an indication you need a rest or your stress level needs to be decreased. If you are feeling angry, just go with it, because anger is the underside of love, and an expression of the value you attached to the loss you are feeling, and it is appropriate, and this will pass with time. The question is do you wait for time to heel when you are continually losing someone and are watching your face age in the mirror. Unfortunately, the answer is yes, but there are things you can do to help time.
If you feel hopeless, it is because you are realizing that life is not in your own control. This is when faith and a belief in a higher purpose to life is very helpful. If you haven’t discovered a belief in higher purpose, then this would be a good time to search. Talk to clergy, read philosophy, meditate, pray, even get your fortune told. All these methods of attempting to understand the ineffable are not perfect, but they all can help. If you need support for your own struggle with these issues, gather friends, family and neighbors around you. We never need each other more than at times like this. We need to feel a part of a larger, safer group. Although you may want solitude from time to time, to get your thoughts together, be careful not to get too isolated. Isolation is the worst thing to do, and it increases depression and can create suicidal thoughts.
Looking for strategies to help with the overwhelmed feelings that are increasing as you continually loss people around you. In addition, coming to terms with your aging and your own mortality. There are many sites on the internet and books that can help time help you to manage these jumbled feelings. Finding someone to talk to is the first step, especially if you have lost you confidant. Take baby steps in coping with losing the people around you. In addition, feeling the loss of your youth is something that many individuals need to come to term with. You may be getting older, but that doesn’t mean you have change your thinking or even things you do, unless you have a physical limitation. Aging is hard on everyone, and compile that with losing the people around you, intensifies the jumble of emotions. A good rule of thumb for anyone feeling they have lost themselves, because they have lost their youth, or are coming to terms with their own mortality, because they are losing people around them, have someone you can talk to. Just venting and expression of your grief-loss is a step towards healing.