I’m going off to college in a few days, and my girl will be on the other side of the country. I wanted to know if you have any advice on what should we do? I love her a lot and she loves me, and we are going to try the long distance relationship thing. Do you think that makes sense?
Missing Her Already
Dear Missing Her:
Okay Romeo! I totally understand where you are coming from – our first love is so wonderfully magical we have a hard time even thinking that it won’t be around forever. However, I can’t in good conscience recommend that you two go that long-distance relationship route, not with her being thousands of miles away.
I know it’s romantic and you have something nice and wonderful and you don’t want to let it go. But the two of you are soooooo young, and so inexperienced about life. Plane fare is expensive, especially for a student. Fact is, long distance relationships are difficult even for people who have great jobs and great credit and can see each other every month.
Not only that, long-distance creates a major impediment to having companionship. Reality is people get lonely and they want affection, attention and someone to talk to. If you two are thousands of miles away from each other, how can you even possibly meet those needs?
Going away to college is a major milestone in your life. Leaving home and going away to school marks the beginning of a great deal of change as you grow into manhood. You will leave home a child, and when you graduate you will take your place in the world as a man.
Over the next 4-5 years, You will change dramatically physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. And most of the time, the relationships we created when we were very young and childlike cannot stand the stress and adjustments of such monumental changes.
As difficult as it may be, your best bet would be to break it off and allow yourselves to grow and enjoy the full college experience. Meet new people (both male and female), and have fun. Take this opportunity to not only educate yourself academically, but to advance socially as well. Get a passport and travel abroad for a semester! Get some work experience and talk to the older people so you can learn from them about life. At the same time you’ll be growing, changing, experiencing the world, and learning about yourself.
This is the only time in your life where you can take risks without worry for any dependents, a wife, or a serious girlfriend. My suggestion is that you grow, change, and experience the world with as few limitations as possible for awhile.
You are both too young for all this obligation and commitment. I think being involved in a long-term relationship at such a young age stifles the minds and growth of young people that want to play it safe and hang with the known and familiar rather than take a chance on flying high and flying solo.