Now, all things being equal and from a sociological perspective, everyone has an individualized version of a life stage to which we all perform on as actors. Some people envision their stage as a playground; you know, the sandbox, monkey bars, and an interactive resource for being carefree. Others view the stage as a business endeavor; formal, organized, and a thoroughgoing plan of action. This is not to suggest that one stage is better than the other. It is simply a matter of preference and maturity. But note: There are levels to this dating theme. Whether you like it or knock it, the dating scene is full of people awaiting their turn to act according to the world stage they envision. Some of the performances may run flat, while others get a standing ovation, but let us be clear: There are levels to this.
1st Level: The Sandboxer
These people only seek out a carefree existence, consisting of cocktails, chuckles, Chutes and Ladders –Fun. The direct aim is not to commit, more than it is about having a good time building sand castles in the sky, that come falling down at the onset of rain.
2nd Level: The Perpetual Dater
These people seek attention and therefore need a seat filler at “happy hour.” They really are on the date to wear the clothes or makeup, but they would not feel too comfortable sitting alone, so they invite you to “link up.”
3rd Level: The Single Mingler
These people are developing their dating interests, exploring themselves oftentimes innovatively, and are pursuing their interests in hopes of discovering that there is someone else who is doing something similar. These people may not be seeking out marriage necessarily, yet they are open to the possibilities of where like-minded individuals can take them.
4th Level: The Scaler
These people are looking to narrow down their interests, in order to choose an open lane to drive home. These people are the scientists of the dating world, who begin asking direct and specific questions after several dates or encounters, measuring responses and placing their interests on a scale to weigh the lighter choice (Hurry! Get rid of your bags).
5th Level: The Bae’er
These people are engaging their definition of love and their desire to have a Bae, or someone that can fulfill their innate needs. These people want consistent companionship, and want to stake a claim in the life of their love interest. Being Bae can be tricky, but Bae is assumed to be the person to whom you share a deep affinity for and is believed to be your soulmate.
Ultimately, and as a best practice, you should know the reasons why you choose to spend time and money on entertaining someone around your interests. Begin to ask questions that could cause some discomfort initially, but bear in mind those insightful questions will assist you in the process of determining with whom you should spend your time. And, if the person tends to evade your deeper thinking and analysis, do not fret. This will allow you to gain understanding of how a person handles conflict, and you can see how quickly you can get to a solution and a resolve. Each date or encounter should bring you closer to identifying a person’s intentions with you.
As a point of observation, come Monday morning after a weekend of dates and you look at your bank account online, you may not be too fond of a dwindling disposable income that was spent on a rendezvous that was not even worth $.02, your best vintage, that Louis V belt, that Uber charge, that thrill while preparing for the date, and even more succinctly, you are left with a sense of loss in the end.