Cat and bacon emergency? A man brought home the bacon – but his cat ate it. A UK man was so upset that his girlfriend allowed their kitty to purloin his bacon, he called up the local magistrates. What’s shakin? Some shanghaied bacon.
Writes the HuffPost: “A man in West Yorkshire, UK called 999 – the British version of 911 – with what he believed was a serious crime: His cat ate his bacon. Over the course of the 90-second call, the caller tells the operator that he wants to press charges against his girlfriend and the bacon-eating feline.”
Yorkshire Police released the audio of the amazingly stupid call, perhaps to shame the man who was convinced – despite the dispatcher’s best efforts to persuade him otherwise – that some sort of statute or law had been broken. The police are also using the absurd “emergency” to help Brits understand what actually constitutes a call to 999.
“Er, me girlfriend is letting the cat eat my bacon,” the unnamed man says. In reply, the dispatcher says, “Right, OK. What would you like the police to do in regards to that sir?” And of course, he wants to “press charges,” but when asked if he would like to press said charges against the girlfriend or the cat, he opts: “Both of em!”
The call handler politely informs the man that they do not arrest cats.
Adds UK’s Daily Mail: “West Yorkshire Police has brought this clip to the attention of the public in an attempt to highlight the thousands of time-wasting calls that their switchboard receives. Head of the force’s customer contact center, Tom Donahoe, said that one in ten 999 calls did not require emergency attention.”
Speaking of the time spent fielding nonsense calls, Donahoe said, “A lot of the time we’re talking about a matter of seconds between us being able to get to a genuine emergency effectively and not being able to and during these few seconds people’s lives are being put at risk.”
At least this man didn’t get hung up on, like this 911 dispatcher, who heard an F-bomb and dumped the call, despite it being a true emergency.
911 call: Cat holds Ore. family hostage in wacked out 911 cat-astrophe