Some things never change. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and a member of the BYU defense punching someone in the junk. Say what? Didn’t BYU learn its lesson from the Boise State game, in which Ului Lapuaho was clearly seen grabbing and then punching a Bronco player in his manhood?
That video went viral, by the way. Lapuaho will probably win multiple end of year awards not for being a person of conviction, but for being a complete imbecile who didn’t realize his every move was being followed by a slew of cameras pointed at him from every conceivable angle. What did he think was going to happen?
Well, this is a public service announcement that other BYU defensive players didn’t receive. Either that, or they don’t care. Because on Saturday, on national TV in a rivalry game with cameras pointed his way, another BYU player named Fred Warner–not Lapuaho–proceeded to punch a Utah State Football running back right where the sun doesn’t shine.
Whoa-hoa-ho. Hold the phone. Not everyone agreed with early reports that Warner meant to punch this guy in the family jewels. Sports Illustrated blog Fan Sided said Warner only meant to give the running back “a nice shot to the ribs.”
You can see why some people might think Warner didn’t mean to punch that dude in the family jewels. In his free time, the San Marcos, Calif. native likes to collect Barbies, do crochet and make ornate clay pots–and punch people in the jubblies. Kidding about the first three.
Someday, Warner would like to do some business with people–ergo, he’s a business major. Unfortunately for Warner and for the site that made the claim–or Fan Sided–his “shot” (see video) appeared to have landed somewhere south of the ribs–a wee bit closer to the testicular region. Let’s call it the shot heard round the stadium. It seems like it’s bad business practices.
But look at the picture. (Look at the picture! Don’t care about her. Don’t care about you.) Stealing lines from the movie “Rush Hour” for a moment, doesn’t Warner look like he’s leading out the cavalry in the picture accompanying this article? Maybe he’s the “Braveheart” of this junk punching posse. Attack!
At any rate, BYU won 51-28, reclaiming the Old Wagon Wheel trophy that Utah State stole last season down in Provo. Payback, baby.
Maybe so in more ways than one. It just goes to show you that if you win, you can hit someone below the belt and get everyone to forget about it. The Utah State running back probably had trouble breathing for a moment, but even he will move on from this unfortunate incident to his region south of his solar plexus.
Begging the final question: is this something BYU players are learning to do in practice? Are they living right on one hand, and punching low with the other? One time is a mistake, you know–something you can shrug off and call coincidence. But twice in one season?
Sounds like somebody’s teaching their boys how to gain a competitive advantage. Let’s see what happens at the bowl game–because we all know what shenanigans and punches in the back of the head went down at the last one in Miami.