Do you want to end your current relationship, but are too chicken to tell your almost-ex significant other the truth? Have you thought of dropping a text message and running? Are you going to stay in that relationship just because you don’t have the moxie to end it? Well, now you don’t have to, according to Digital Trends on November 12. Get ready for The Breakup Shop, an app which will do it all for you at a very reasonable cost.
What’s a very reasonable cost? The Breakup Shop will send an email or text to your soon-to-be ex for only $10. Want something a little more personal? A custom letter will set you back $30. Want it to be even more personal? The Breakup Shop will call for you. That’s a one minute call, which begins at $29. The staff at The Breakup Shop will obtain pertinent details from their client at the time of payment. If you’re in a real hurry to be a free agent once more, rush service is available for $10 over and above the stated price for the service you request.
If you really feel bad about dumping the past love of your life, you can purchase a “Breakup Gift Pack” for only $80. The gift pack includes a handcrafted sympathy letter, a box of Chips Ahoy! cookies, a $30 Netflix gift card, and either a Blu-ray copy of “The Notebook” or a Call of Duty: Ghosts video game. Everything the newly single person needs to get on with life.
This may seem new and innovative, but it’s really not. Electronic breakup services have existed before. The Breakup Text app, originally intended as a prank, was being used to seriously break off with people. Its creators felt really bad about this, so they created a new app, The Makeup Text app. And afterwards, if you truly want nothing to do with your former love interest, there is an app called KillSwitch which will block all Facebook posts and tagged photos.
How effective is The Breakup Shop? According to the New York Post on November 12, a vice writer tested out the service on his girlfriend, who was aware that it was a prank. He paid $30 for a heartbreaking phone call. And although he provided the reason for the breakup, the service incorrectly told her the reason was that she was pressuring him to get married.
Obviously, The Breakup Shop needs a little more tweaking. Besides possibly giving the wrong reason for the call, the calls end with a pitch for their gift shop. “We have a really great gift shop for people who have just been dumped.” Call me crazy, but maybe they should come up with a better ending?
The bottom line here is simply this: If you really cared for that person at one time and it’s really time to call it quits, man or woman up and say it yourself, hopefully, in person.