With the onset of hot weather, we would like to inform the public about a silent chiller.
More annoying than dangerous, Spheno-palatine gangleoneuralgia can strike with no warning yet there has been no research, no medical funding and worst of all, no telethon.
This malady strikes instantly but leaves almost as mysteriously as it appears. By the time an ambulance arrives all you can do is say “Sorry, it’s gone”.
Brief and intense, it hurts and incapacitates, leaving the victim to grimace in pain as they grab and rub their head, throat or neck.
SPG affects those on hot days when they choose to gulp a seemingly innocent Slurpee, Slushee or frappe. Cool relief suddenly turns into pain as Brain Freeze rears its frigid head.
Brain freeze, also known as ice cream headache, is not a major illness, yet can be used as an excuse to miss work or school. If spoken of by its medical name it can help as in “Hey boss, I had some Spheno Palatine Gangleoneuralgia yesterday and I’m still not right. I’ll be in tomorrow.” They don’t want to admit they don’t know what it is so you’re safe. No one says, “Hey, can you spell that so I can Google it?”
Scientifically speaking, when something very cold touches the center of the palate, a useless area on the roof of the mouth, it sets off certain nerves that control the blood flow to your head. Pay attention now because your head contains much of the vital thinking the body needs to function, like when do I eat, sleep and buy things on sale that I can’t afford.
This cold rush may be interpreted by the brain as the nerves saying, “Hey, did I just eat an ice floe?” The brain hears this and constricts the blood vessels in the area like an angry parent cutting off your allowance and you don’t know why. When they dilate with increased flow, it causes pain. Not the children, your blood vessels.
You’d like to do something with this kind of pain but can’t, like when a tea partyer would rather vote to eliminate health care because the president is black.
Blood flow is as important to brain function as oil flow is to BP’s bottom line. When you start losing either one it’s painful.
One interesting note is that sales of DQ’s Blizzards coincides with the onset of many occurrences of Spheno Palatine Gangleoneuralgia. Does anyone see a pattern here?
People take Nexxium as a preventative when they know they’re going to eat something that disagrees with them but what can you take when you know you’re going to devour a DQ Blizzard in less than a minute?