Manspreading? On a NYC subway, you can now be arrested for the act of manspreading. Men, when they sit, generally don’t cross their legs and pretzel them up tight, so they sit with both feet on the floor. But some males, either deciding that their bollocks deserve some extended space, or determined not to have to snuggle in with a nearby passenger, open up wide – all obtuse angle-like – with their knees a’flaring and the long legs stretching from the elevated Rockaway Line to the underground Broadway Line.
And for that, some have suffered arrest by NYPD cops on the lookout for such absurd mannish mischief.
The Urban Dictionary defines manspreading this way: “The act of men spreading legs – particularly on a subway train – to create space for genitalia, which has come under fire by certain feminist-leaners who insist the practice takes up too much room on crowded trains.”
Evidently, the issue is quite paramount. So much so that the Metropolitan Transit Authority in New York has embarked on a mission to stamp out the manspreading. Posters, such as the one seen above, can now be found in NYC’s transit stations, shaming any male passenger who dares put more than a 12-inch space between their patellas.
And if ye breaketh such rule, you might get “cuffed by New York City Police Department officers hungry to make low-level arrests, according to a new report from the Police Reform Organizing Project (PROP).”
The advocacy group, which has as its stated mantra: Exposing discriminatory and abusive practices of the NYPD, that routinely and disproportionately affect our city’s low-income communities and people of color, put forth a detailed, 23-page report with the demonstrable title “That’s How They Get You.”
Within, we find the minutiae of over 100 summaries of ludicrous arrests, all of which highlight “misguided and racially biased tactics” targeting blacks, Latinos and other minorities. Buried in the racial atrocities is this nugget:
On a recent visit to the arraignment part in Brooklyn’s criminal court, PROP volunteers observed that police officers had arrested two Latino men on the charge of ‘manspreading’ on the subway, presumably because they were taking up more than one seat and therefore inconveniencing other riders. Before issuing a [ticket] for both men, the judge expressed her skepticism about the charge because of the time of the arrests: “12:11AM, I can’t believe many were people on the subway.”
PROP director Robert Gangi remarked: “My very strong sense, and I think other people see it the same way, is that it’s quota-driven,” he said of the manspreading charges. “These kinds of tickets or arrests are low-lying fruit, they’re easy pickings.”
According to the Metro Transit Authority rules, which among other things outline the proper etiquette while riding on the filthy, piss-smelling, graffiti stained transports, is the directive that no one “occupy more than one seat on a station, platform or conveyance when to do so would interfere or tend to interfere with the operation of the Authority’s transit system or the comfort of other passengers; place his or her foot on a seat on a station, platform or conveyance; lie on the floor, platform, stairway, landing or conveyance; or block free movement on a station, stairway, platform or conveyance.”
The MTA just likes to use the word conveyance.
So guys – keep your feet off the seats and your junk nicely smushed. Or else you may hear “spread em,” and be arrested for manspreading.