When you are a woman and into straight men, you want a good man, a really good man. If women notice you have a good man ( or at least think you have a good man), they tell you, you have a good man. What is a good man? A man who provides for the people he loves and carries himself like a gentleman ( with respect). Yes, no matter how modern women today believe they are, they still want a man who will open doors, kiss them before a busy day and still prioritizes date night. If you are a woman wondering ‘ Why cannot I find a good man?’ you need to know every woman has the opportunity to find and keep a good man. It all comes down to making the right choice at the right time. And more importantly, you have to not compare your man to other women’s men. You have to choose to have a good man and to do that you need to stop settling for what is right in front of you and really find a man who matches well with you in spending and character traits.
Most women end up with no good men because they have more interest in the idea of having a wedding and being a wife…settling for anyone who will offer it to them. Note, every good man has flaws ( just like the bad men have flaws). Your goal as a woman is to learn which flaws you can live with and whether those flaws go against your self-respect and the idea of a healthy relationship. You need to choose a man who truly cares for you and will hold you down through thick and thin. You need to do the same for him. The best way you can find a man who is a good fit for you is to really look at your deal breakers. What are your relationship deal breakers? The reason you want to jot down deal breakers is to look at his accountability in your relationship and the standards he makes important to him. Trust, there will be times you will feel as if you have to settle for anything to make sure you don’t end up alone. But often women who settle for anything feel very alone even while being in a relationship. They feel alone because they didn’t choose the right man for a long-term relationship. Real love doesn’t make you feel miserable or looks to hurt you. This is why it’s so important for a woman to choose wisely who she lets in her life, has sex with and more.
No woman wants a man who cheats, is lazy about the relationship or puts all the responsibility on her to keep the relationship going. The men who follow those principles are the ones women give the green light to do either by saying nothing about those poor behaviors or being afraid to walk away from such abuse. Choose the man who truly cares for you as well as himself and you’ll have a chance at a happy marriage. There are plenty of people with a miserable marriage and you don’t have to fit in that category. A man who wants to be a good husband and father will be because he wants to be. If you have to compare your man to other men, you don’t truly care for him. Instead, you care about what others think of you. Those people don’t have to live your life. Why do you care what they think? Focus on choosing the right man you are proud with even behind closed doors. When we choose a good or bad man, we always make the choice of being with him. Yes, if you married a man because you got pregnant is a choice. Yes, if you accept a fixed marriage it is still your choice. Yes, when you marry a man for financial security it is a choice. You can only blame yourself for the choices you make in life. To put it to you short, sometimes the good man is the one you choose to reject for the bad boys and ones your friends think are so cool. Forget about that. You have to look at a man’s actions and choose wisely on whether you can have a good life journey with said man. Let a good man find you and truly care for you. Once you have him, be glad you chose him. Again, you have the power to choose a good man always. Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself. Here are five ways you can choose a really good man and it starts with you:
- Feel the world. Yes, forget all that stuff about protecting your feelings. A good man wants to see you embrace the world around you and show your compassionate nature. To put it short, live in the moment and show him what matters to you in life. If you search deep within yourself and give back to the world around you, a good man will drawn towards your positive energy.
- Show him you have boundaries by being comfortable with saying no. So many women are afraid to say no and scare off a good man,but a good man will never leave you for carrying yourself with respect. Don’t be afraid of rejection. There are reasons for saying no and you need to make those no’s work in your favor. Bottom line: having the power to say no and set boundaries shows you are confident in your self-worth. Let him work hard to act like a gentleman in order for you to invest time in him. This is one of the best screening methods to finding a really good man because neither you or him are trying to hook each other in fear. Who wants a relationship where fear is the only reason you are in the relationship? We call relationships built on fear manipulation. Don’t go for that.
- Be who you are as a woman. A good man enjoys a woman who is herself around him for the simple reason of her being refreshing to his life. You are not going out of your way to impress him and you are not trying too hard to please him. How many people can you say are truly themselves in life? Not many and that will make you stand out in the eyes of a good man. Self-love is key to finding a wonderful man because anytime we feel incomplete, we leave ourselves vulnerable to desperately chasing after no good men and sometimes friends.
- Watch how he treats the people around him, especially those who can do nothing for him. This will teach you about his emotional maturity level and how he handles difficult situations. How does he feel about the way he contributes to the world? When a man feels he benefits the world, he becomes a better partner and gives what’s needed to keep the relationship together.
- Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and wants to him. He is not a mind reader. You are not a mind reader. Great relationships are all about good communication and showing him how he can play an important role in the lifestyle you’re creating for yourself. This is how you give him room to define himself as a man to you and for you.
More importantly, you need to learn to feel love for yourself, with or without a man. That’s the easiest way to find a good man because he will know he has to put on his A-game to make you his woman, his wife. Great men do exist. Let your great man find you by knowing your own worth. If you truly love yourself, he will come. Stop wasting time with guys who will let you down and belittle you every chance they get. You deserve a man who is capable of being in a committed relationship. If he has a track record for cheating and using women, he is not a really good man.