A satirical and humorous look at the man, old school conservatives dub, the most out-spoken candidate to run for president in 2016.
10. Great Articulation. During his press conferences, I’ve never heard Trump utter anything of a “moronic” nature. Well, except for the time when he said, “I have a great relationship with the blacks.” And let’s not forget this memorable quote, “Laziness is a trait in the blacks.” As an African-American, I am “delighted”, that the real-estate mogul, refers to people of color as “the blacks.” Now do you see why, we have to deviate from the articulate angle? What a prick!
9. He is so charismatic. Whenever I see the Donald, visions of Howdy Doody spring to mind. For those 30 and under, Howdy Doody is the puppet from a 1950s children’s TV show. And just like Howdy, Trump has an overly exaggerated smile. Another similarity the two share, is, they’re both stiff as a board. Which explains why Trump’s comment that Sen. John McCain “is not a war hero”, is equivalent to that of a puppet on a string.
8. His patriotism. Unlike thousands of young men who served in Vietnam, Trump served his country by eating at fancy restaurants and signing real estate deals. And as soon as those restaurant receipts are found, just like the Mexican “rapists” and “criminals” he adamantly refers to, everyone will appreciate this guy’s love for the good old U.S. What a man!
7. He always tells the truth. That’s right, the Donald is so honest, you can believe everything he says, and then some. Case in point: If Trump says “Hillary Clinton was the worst secretary of state in the history of the United States”, who are we to question his judgment? After all, this is the man who told us umpteenth times, that President Obama was born in Kenya. And on that note, I can honestly say, Trump gives new meaning to the phrase, talking loud and saying nothing.
6. His sense of humor. Whenever Trump appears on my TV screen, I immediately start laughing. Yep, that sneer, and bumbling walk, gets me every time. Perhaps, if he took off that flea-bitten toupee, the laughter would stop. Or perhaps not.
5. His Moral Fiber. Oh man what a saint. Besides doing a “little partying” in his youth, this guy is so morally pure, I want to tell the whole world. If he’s elected, I bet you won’t catch an intern kissing the Donald. Why would anyone want to? Besides, if he’s elected, he’ll be too busy embracing his role, as the anti –immigrant president. Why can’t we all be this perfect?
4. His intelligence. Honestly, have we ever had a presidential candidate, who was so brilliant ? Hey, can you spell disgracelicious? pronounced dis-gracei-lish-ous. Don’t worry Trump can’t either.
3. Compassion. He has it in droves, especially when targeting special interest groups and organizations. For example, lauding the immorality of same- sex marriage, to secure his conservative voter base. That’s right, when Trump, fails to scare everyone with his immigrants remarks, the next step is to play the family values card. That’s when he launches into his spiel, on why men and women should only marry people of the opposite sex. And as everyone knows, this billionaire businessman, knows all about relationships, that’s why he’s been married three times.
2. Honesty. Oh how can I say it? Let me count the ways. I would love to, but time doesn’t permit me to engage in such fantasies. From my point-of-view, Trump and honesty, go hand-in-hand like Coca Cola and foot powder.
1. Major Insomnia Reliever. Within seconds after seeing or hearing Trump, I fall asleep. So who needs over the counter sleep aids, when Donald Trump is available? And there you have it, 10 reasons why African-Americans “love” Donald Trump. And if you can’t figure out the logic behind this commentary, here’s a ticket to the Trump Insult Brigade!